When I’m tutoring a student in maths and we come across a difficult problem, I ask:
“What if this was simpler?”
I was helping an 8-year-old to practice dividing. The topic is fairly new to him. He tilted his head to consider the question “40 ÷ 5”. As he pondered it, I said:
“James, what if the numbers were smaller? What’s the answer to 8 ÷ 2?”
He instantly answered 4. I asked him to think about how he’d worked that out (“How many 2s fit into 8?”), and then apply his method to the more complex question.
Breaking hard problems down to their fundamentals has helped older students too. It helps them realise that a challenge they initially saw as impossible is actually a little less scary.
This brings us to an important truth.
At the heart of most seemingly insurmountable problems lies a simpler core problem.
For instance, going to the gym regularly actually takes a significant amount of time and effort. I need to wake up in time to reach the classes I like, get my clothes ready, make time to walk to and from the gym, and so on.
This isn’t always possible. Scratch that — there are times when I just don’t want to do it.
The challenge isn’t actually needing to go to the gym every day.
The problem is that my body needs to move. When it doesn’t manage that for a long time, I get crabby and restless.
I can move by stretching on the balcony. I can do it by climbing the stairs to my flat after I pick up sweet potatoes from the supermarket. I can move by walking part of the way to my lunch with a friend, following along with some yoga with Adriene, or dancing to my favourite song for a couple of minutes.
The possibilities are actually endless.
You can try it with other problems, too.
If you’re regularly stress-eating comfort food, you might see the issue as a lack of willpower or some sort of weakness on your part. But a simpler problem might be just the presence of the junk food in the house —whenever you can, avoid buying it and fill your house with plenty of healthier alternatives.
Core problems may be simple, but they’re not always easy. It’s very difficult to resist the temptation to buy a big bar of chocolate when you’re at the supermarket after a hard day of work, with a screaming toddler in tow.
Also, in order to really deal with stress-eating at a deeper level, you may need therapy and time to process very uncomfortable emotions. Neither of these is easy — but they are definitely worth your time and effort in the long run. Moreover, even those two painful steps — going to therapy and staying the course with your emotions — can be broken down into simpler steps to make them easier to achieve.
For example, there may be forms of therapy that you have access to through your local health service, health insurance or even apps that you’re not aware of.
Someone you know might be able to recommend a therapist that’s a good fit for you (check with your close friends, who will often be happy to help). If cost is a concern, you could search for therapists who offer payment on a sliding scale.
Similarly, while curling up on your couch to feel your negative emotions may be one of the hardest things you can do, there are ways to break this down too. You can learn from people who have been through the process themselves, so that you feel less alone and overwhelmed.
You can be careful to balance out time spent processing your feelings with restorative practices like yoga, breathing exercises, going for walks, listening to music you love and even watching light-hearted Netflix shows.
After particularly difficult bouts of processing, you can reach out to loved ones and speak to them honestly about your struggles. They will listen and remind you that, just like everyone else, you are worth taking time to care for.
If there is a behaviour you’ve been trying to change for a long time, it may be worth stepping back, taking a look from a different angle and asking:
“What if this was simpler?”
Surprisingly often, it is.
All you need to do is figure out one small step you can take and build momentum from there.
